My personality is not a disorder

I feel the need to express that I no longer identify as someone who has a personality disorder, and here’s why.

Before I was diagnosed with bipolar I ended up as an inpatient in hospital. At the time I was severely depressed and felt ready to end my life. I did not have any self harming tendencies but I did fly off into rages. Now the rages I attribute to PMS and also there’s the fact that I have Tourette’s in which you are prone to rages, so there’s that out of the way. However I was discharged from hospital with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder).

At the time I did not know what a personality disorder was, at least not passed what I had seen from watching ‘girl, interrupted’.

The label of a personality disorder stuck with me for a few months before my second hospital admission, in which I ended up on a quick incline into mania. At this point my diagnosis of a personality disorder was muted and I was given the diagnosis of rapid cycling bipolar. Rapid cycling is were you have at least four episodes in a year, but I’ll get back to that in a future blog post.

Now I spent a good 5-6 years in and out of hospitals where I was constantly told I had bipolar in one form or another. However with my most recent admission to hospital, I found that my new diagnosis was ‘rapid cycling bipolar with bpd tendencies’.

However looking at my behaviour patterns I do not believe I have a personality disorder. The only time I experience symptoms of a personality disorder is when I am either manic or depressed (due to the bipolar), or high on coffee, as coffee makes me quite elated. It is for these reasons that I do not believe I have a personality disorder.

Bearing in mind that over the past 5-6 years it has only been one nurse and one psychiatrist who have said that I have these bpd tendencies.

3 thoughts on “My personality is not a disorder

  1. I was diagnosed with BPD at one point. The medication I had been taking wasn’t working, and there was concern that the mood dysregulation wasn’t due to Bipolar Disorder. Then I got a new doctor who gave me lithium, and the mood problems went away.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety and borderline. I think I have some borderline tendencies but I don’t fit all the criteria by a long shot. It’s a murky diagnosis, at best, for most. My husband is going into psychiatry as a profession and he think personality disorders are, mostly, an umbrella group they use to categorize people they don’t quite understand what is going on with. Anyway, hi! Glad I discovered your blog tonight.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think know what is wrong and treating it is a good thing but sometimes you can spend too much time analyzing what is wrong. I would take a step back, enjoy life for a while and forget about doctors and hospitals. Have a good day anyway. 🙂

    Like

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